It was the life-long dream of young Jose to travel to the US and watch a real major league baseball game.
But after he saved up enough money, and finally arrived at Angel’s stadium in Anaheim, CA, some unscrupulous attendant took advantage of his unfamiliarity with American customs, and as a prank, talked him into watching the game from the top of the flag pole.
Nevertheless, when he returned home to Mexico, he had nothing but praise for the kind Americans, saying “They were so wonderful! They let me sit in the highest seat in the whole ball park, then they all looked up at me, put their hands over their hearts, and asked, “Jose, can you see?””
Duck hunter #1: “ We haven’t bagged a single duck all day. I wonder if we’re doing something wrong.”
Duck hunter #2: “Could be…. Maybe we’re not throwing the dogs high enough!”
A man watching the Olympics asked one of the athletes, “Are you a pole vaulter?” “No, I’m a German,” said the athlete. “But how did you know my name is Walter?
A man watching the Olympics asked one of the athletes, “Are you a pole vaulter?” “No, I’m a German,” said the athlete. “But how did you know my name is Walter?”
A wife was trying in vain to get her husband’s attention as he sat, mesmerized, watching a football game on TV.
“You know, sometimes I think you actually like football better than you like me,” she muttered.
Without moving his eyes from the screen, the husband replied, “I like you better than baseball!”
First golfer: “Hey! Look at this new high-tech golf ball! It’s impossible to lose it!
If it goes in the water, it floats;
If it lands in the sand, it lights up;
If it lands in the woods, it beeps!”
Second golfer: “That’s really amazing! Where’d you get it ?”
First golfer: “I found it!”
Two men in a row boat were having unusually good luck fishing, having caught more than a dozen large rainbow trout.
“We need to find a way to mark this spot, so we can come back to it at a later date!” said one of the men.
“Right!” said his friend. “Let’s put an “X” in the bottom of the boat!”
“That’s idiotic!” cried the first man. “This is a rented boat! How do you know that we’ll get the same one?”
“I know!” said his friend. “Let’s meet here on Saturday, and if I get here first, I’ll mark an “X” on the boat; if you get here first, you rub it out!”
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day, but if you teach him how to fish, you’ll show him a way to drink more beer!
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I wondered why the football was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
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What could possibly be more boring than golf on TV?
Golf on radio!
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I wanted to join a gym, but the entrance was way too far from the parking lot!
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It was the life-long dream of young Jose to travel to the US and watch a real major league baseball game.
But after he saved up enough money, and finally arrived at Angel’s stadium in Anaheim, CA, some unscrupulous attendant took advantage of his unfamiliarity with American customs, and as a prank, talked him into watching the game from the top of the flag pole.
Nevertheless, when he returned home to Mexico, he had nothing but praise for the kind Americans, saying “They were so wonderful! They let me sit in the highest seat in the whole ball park, then they all looked up at me, put their hands over their hearts, and asked, “Jose, can you see?””
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“That guy’s so dumb, he thinks a football coach has four wheels!”
“So tell me, how many wheels does it really have?”
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I always wanted to try water skiing – but I could never find a lake with a decent slope!
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I’ve always been curious about water polo; how do they keep the horses from drowning?
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Duck hunter #1: “ We haven’t bagged a single duck all day. I wonder if we’re doing something wrong.”
Duck hunter #2: “Could be…. Maybe we’re not throwing the dogs high enough!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
A man watching the Olympics asked one of the athletes, “Are you a pole vaulter?” “No, I’m a German,” said the athlete. “But how did you know my name is Walter?
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A man watching the Olympics asked one of the athletes, “Are you a pole vaulter?” “No, I’m a German,” said the athlete. “But how did you know my name is Walter?”
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“If at first you don’t succeed….”
Avoid skydiving.
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A wife was trying in vain to get her husband’s attention as he sat, mesmerized, watching a football game on TV.
“You know, sometimes I think you actually like football better than you like me,” she muttered.
Without moving his eyes from the screen, the husband replied, “I like you better than baseball!”
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First golfer: “Hey! Look at this new high-tech golf ball! It’s impossible to lose it!
If it goes in the water, it floats;
If it lands in the sand, it lights up;
If it lands in the woods, it beeps!”
Second golfer: “That’s really amazing! Where’d you get it ?”
First golfer: “I found it!”
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Two men in a row boat were having unusually good luck fishing, having caught more than a dozen large rainbow trout.
“We need to find a way to mark this spot, so we can come back to it at a later date!” said one of the men.
“Right!” said his friend. “Let’s put an “X” in the bottom of the boat!”
“That’s idiotic!” cried the first man. “This is a rented boat! How do you know that we’ll get the same one?”
“I know!” said his friend. “Let’s meet here on Saturday, and if I get here first, I’ll mark an “X” on the boat; if you get here first, you rub it out!”
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