WORK Advertisements Share this:TwitterFacebookGoogleLike this:Like Loading... 17 thoughts on “WORK” My boss told me to have a good day… So I went home. 🏡 LikeLiked by 1 person Reply After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman, as people call it. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply A man wanted to join a monastery, where they sold fish and chips to sustain themselves financially. When the man in charge told him to report to the man in the kitchen, he went there, and asked the first man he saw, “Are you the fish friar?” to which he replied, “No, I’m the chip monk!” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply The engineering major says, “How does it work?” The economics major says, “What does it cost?” The art history major says, “Would you like fries with that?” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply A guy was applying for a job as a switchman on the railroad. The interviewer asked him to imagine that he was standing at his assigned switch with instructions to hold it in a certain position. “But you looked up the tracks and saw a train coming, and then looked down the tracks to see another train coming from the other direction, and it was clear that if you didn’t move the switch, the two trains would surely collide head-on!” said the interviewer. “What would you do?” The man said, “I’d run to find a phone!” “And who would you call?” said the interviewer, “I’d call my brother!” said the man. “Why in the world would you call your brother?” asked the interviewer, to which the man replied, “My brother’s never seen a train wreck!” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Did you hear about the butcher who backed into his own meat-grinder? He got a little behind in his orders! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I used to be a banker but then I lost interest. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I had a job crushing pop cans. It was soda pressing. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply A farmer is a man who is out standing in his field. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply A specialist is an expert who persistently learns more and more about less and less. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I once had a job inventorying sheep – but I kept falling asleep! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Teacher: “Which do you think is worse; ignorance or apathy?” Student: “I don’t know and I don’t care.” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I thought about becoming a tree surgeon – but I faint at the sight of sap. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply On a warm summer day, a man was walking down a country road towards a lake, when he encountered a younger man coming up from the lake, carrying about a dozen large rainbow trout on a stringer. “Wow!” said the older man. “That’s a fine mess of fish! Where’d you get them?” The young man held up the fish with a broad grin and, pointing a thumb over his shoulder, said, “Right back there in that lake.” The older man said, “I’ve been fishing in that lake nearly all my life, and I’ve never seen trout like that!” The young man lowered his voice and said, “Well, come on down, and I’ll show you my secret.” So, they walked down to the shore, got into a small boat, and rowed well out into the lake. Then suddenly the young man pulled a stick of dynamite from his back pocket, lit it, and tossed it into the lake! The blast was deafening, as dozens of fish floated to the surface, dazed or killed by the shock wave, while the man scooped them into a large net. “Purty easy, huh?” he said. To which the other man replied, “Yeah, but you know, I work for the state, and I’m what you call a game warden.” The young man didn’t bat an eye, as he grabbed another stick of dynamite, lit it, and slapped it into the game warden’s hand. “Now!” he exclaimed, “Are you going to talk about work?…. or fish!” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I’ve never failed at anything, but I’ve found 10,000 ideas that won’t work. LikeLike Reply Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold up their pants. LikeLike Reply The government is right about one thing. There are a lot more jobs available these days, and I should know: I have three of them. LikeLike Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here... Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Email (required) (Address never made public) Name (required) Website You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Google+ account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change ) Cancel Connecting to %s Notify me of new comments via email.