7 thoughts on “LAWYER

  1. The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.

    “Ever have an accident?”

    “Nope, nary a one.”

    “None? You’ve never had any accidents?”

    “Nope. Ain’t never had one. Never.”

    “Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn’t you consider that an accident?”

    “Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose.”


  2. Lawyer: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?”
    Witness: “No.”
    Lawyer: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
    Witness: “No.”
    Lawyer: “Did you check for breathing?”
    Witness: “No.”
    Lawyer: “Then is it possible that the patient was still alive when you performed the autopsy?”
    Witness: “No.”
    Lawyer: “How can you be so sure?”
    Witness: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
    Lawyer: “I see, But could the patient have been alive, nevertheless?”
    Witness: “Yes, I suppose it’s possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.”


  3. Lawyer: “Does your car have an automatic transmission?”
    Witness: “No. It has a manual transmission.”
    Lawyer: “What gear were you in at the time of the collision?”
    Witness: “Gucci sweats and Reeboks.”


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