POLICE & MILITARY Advertisements Share this:TwitterFacebookGoogleLike this:Like Loading... 9 thoughts on “POLICE & MILITARY” When I was drafted, they said that the training would be intense. But there weren’t any tents; it was all outdoors, and mostly in the rain! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Why-ever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, “Tonight I’m the designated decoy.” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply An officer was angry to see a new recruit walk past him with both hands in the front pockets of his fatigue trousers. “What’s the matter, soldier? Are your hands cold?” he shouted. “No Sir!” replied the recruit with a smile. “I got ’em in my pockets!” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply What kind of oil do state troopers use in their police cars? “Highway Petroleum,” of course! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply After an army drill sergeant had just been especially hard on one of his men, he remarked, “I’ll bet you can’t wait until I’m dead, so you can dance on my grave!” “No, sergeant!” said the private. “I swore that once I get out of the army, I’m never going to stand in another line!” LikeLike Reply Motorist to traffic cop: “I wanted to go straight, officer, but the sign said, “No, you turn!” LikeLike Reply Caller: “Hello, 911? My house is on fire!” Please come at once! 911 operator: “Okay, just tell us how to get there.” Caller: “Don’t you still have that big red truck?” LikeLike Reply A man fell out of a third story window, and as he lay on the sidewalk a cop showed up and asked him, “What happened?” To which the man replied, “I don’t know! I just got here myself!” LikeLike Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here... Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Email (required) (Address never made public) Name (required) Website You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Google+ account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change ) Cancel Connecting to %s Notify me of new comments via email.