HEALTH Advertisements Share this:TwitterFacebookGoogleLike this:Like Loading... 14 thoughts on “HEALTH” 9 out of 10 voices in my head are telling me that I am too fat… The last one is calmly preparing a bowl of chips! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Three elderly ladies were discussing the trials of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.” The third one responded, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem; knock on wood,” she raps her knuckles on the table, then says, “That must be the door, I’ll get it.” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Two patients, confined to the third floor of a mental hospital, found a flashlight, and one patient said to the other, as they looked out the window, “We can use this to escape! I’ll shine the light down to the ground, and you can slide down on the light beam! Then I’ll toss the flashlight down, and you can shine it up here, so I can slide down the beam!” “Do you think I’m crazy?” shouted the other man, “Knowing you, I’ll get halfway down the beam, and you’ll turn the light off!” LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Why did the guru refuse to be given Novocaine at the dentist? Because he wanted to transcend dental medication! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply We were so poor, growing up, that when my sister broke her arm, we had to take her to the airport for x-rays! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Did you hear about the optometrist that fell into his lens-grinding machine? He made a spectacle of himself! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&M’s because let’s be honest here. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Smoking will kill you… Bacon will kill you… But smoking bacon will cure it. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply An all-too-common medical problem is known as, “Upside-down Syndrome.” This occurs when your nose runs, and your feet smell! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply An inmate in a mental hospital began to notice that a newly-arrived patient seemed to be spending most of his time on his hands and knees, with his ear pressed against a wall. Out of curiosity, he asked the patient, “What are you doing?” but the man said, “Shhh!” and continued his strange behavior. The curios man then put his ear to the wall, and after a few seconds, he said, “I don’t hear a thing! Nothing at all!” “I know!” whispered the patient, “It’s been like that all day!” LikeLike Reply Some people can take a blood test – and without studying at all – still get an “A+!” LikeLike Reply Patient: “I’m a wigwam, I’m a tee-pee! I’m a wigwam, I’m a tee-pee! Psychiatrist: “Your problem is obvious! You’re two tents!” LikeLike Reply I hate looking at X-rays; they’re always so negative! LikeLike Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here... Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Email (required) (Address never made public) Name (required) Website You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Google+ account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change ) Cancel Connecting to %s Notify me of new comments via email.